Don’t Tell Me Who to Love

Over a year ago I wrote a post about Ray Boltz’ apostasy, including an analysis of his songs in light of his apostasy.

Boltz, a Christian music icon, recently abandoned his wife and children and moved to Florida to fulfill his homosexual desires anonymously. Yet he does not claim he is no longer a Christian. As is typical, he simply rejects those backwards Christians who say homosexual acts and desires are sinful.

Well, he hasn’t stopped making music (though it appears he should have). He has released a single from his new album called “Don’t Tell Me Who to Love.” It’s supposedly a song about an interracial couple fighting injustice in the 60’s, but I’m sure you can figure out what he’s really talking about.

Here is his flamboyant, Cher inspired diatribe against the Word of God

The Inspiration:

While I was writing the song “Don’t Tell Me Who To Love” I was not familiar with the supreme court case “Loving v. Virginia.”  Growing up in the sixties, however, I was aware of the attitudes concerning people of different races being allowed to marry.  As early as the 1800’s, judges had claimed that such behavior would lead to “deplorable results” producing children that were “generally sick and effeminate.”   Preachers also claimed that it was “immoral, unnatural and against the will of God.”

It was only as the song was nearing completion that I read about how Mildred Jeter (a woman of color) and Richard Loving (a white male) met during the fifties, fell in love and were married in Washington DC.  When they returned to Virginia they were arrested and faced spending a year in prison unless they left the state.  Eventually, they challenged the Virginia law and in 1967 it led to a landmark supreme court decision, in which Chief Justice Earl Warren said, “Marriage is one of the basic civil rights of man, fundamental to our very existence and survival.”

At the time this decision was made a vast majority of Americans felt that the court  was wrong.  Fortunately, today, this is not the case and that is evident by our nation’s recent decision to elect  a president whose parents are of different races.

The only line in the song that was changed after my research was in the first verse.  Originally, I had written that in 1966 the couple were “making their wedding plans” but this was changed to “wearing their wedding bands” because I felt it was more reflective of Mildred and Richard’s situation.

On Saturday, November 15th, 2008 I sang this song before a thousand people who had joined together to protest the recent passage of Prop 2 in Florida.  As I sang the words, “now there always will be hatred and voices that condemn, but I believe that true love is going to make it in the end,” I remembered a statement made by a beautiful black pastor at a conference I recently attended.  She said that people of color did not receive equality because white people suddenly decided they were worthy of equality but rather when people of color decided they were worthy of equality.  I hope this song encourages us all to say “I know what’s in my heart and that should be enough…don’t tell me who to love.”

Ray Boltz

SONG LYRICS: “Don’t Tell Me Who To Love”

written by Ray Boltz (c) 2008 Shepherd Boy Music/ASCAP


The year was 1966 and they were wearing their wedding bands

She was black and he was white and some people didn’t understand

The judge said that’s not legal, the preacher called it a sin

But they couldn’t stop them cause he loved her and she loved him


Don’t tell me who to love, don’t tell me who to kiss

Don’t tell me that there’s something wrong because I feel like this

I know what’s in my heart, that should be enough

Don’t tell me, don’t tell me no, don’t tell me who to love


Maybe you’re in love today and you’ve been making wedding plans

But there is someone in your way shouting things cause they don’t understand

The judge says that’s not legal, the preacher calls it a sin

Oh you just remember they were wrong before and they’re wrong again



Now there always will be hatred and voices that condemn

Oh but I believe that true love is gonna make it in the end


Hebrews 6:1 Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, 2 and of instruction about washings, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. 3 And this we will do if God permits. 4 For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, 5 and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, 6 and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt. 7 For land that has drunk the rain that often falls on it, and produces a crop useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God. 8 But if it bears thorns and thistles, it is worthless and near to being cursed, and its end is to be burned.

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